


Shattered

by DTrainWin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Can't have your cake and eat it too, F/M, Funeral, Grief, Mourning, break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DTrainWin/pseuds/DTrainWin
Summary: This takes place during the last sequence of Endgame. Steve lets the reader know he’s leaving and isn’t coming back.





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for babylevines writing challenge on Tumblr. Prompt is in bold. Enjoy!

Your makeup was tear streaked by the end of Tony’s funeral. You weren’t even sure how you had made it through Nat’s. You were grateful it had been held the day before, not sure you have handled saying goodbye to your two closest friends in one day. While you were glad the fight was over and maybe some semblance of normality could return to your life, the price had been high. Part of you was wondering if it was worth it at all. Tony and Nat were dead, and neither was coming back. 

You steeled yourself and focused on moving forward. You had Steve and the other Avengers in your corner. As everyone started to break away you made for Peter knowing his importance to Tony. You gave May a small smile, and she stepped away with Happy allowing a little bit of privacy.

“How you doing, kid?” You managed.

Peter swallowed, nodding, trying to stop the floodgates from opening again.

You let a low breath, tears rolling down your face again. “Me too, kid, so I’ll, uh, keep this short. I know that I was only an assistant in the lab to Tony, and you have more talent now when it comes to technology than I ever will.” You sucked in a breath knowing how much Peter had meant to Tony and trying not to let it get to you. “But if you need anything,” You continued, “Materials, someone to bounce ideas off of, or just someone to talk to, you have my number, use it.” You instructed.

“Thanks, Y/N. I - I will. But all due respect, you’re wrong about one thing.”

A small laugh escaped you, already seeing why Tony loved this kid so much. There was an innocence about him that was refreshing, yet he knew how to stand his ground. “What’s that, Peter?”

“You weren’t just an assistant. Mister - Mister Stark said you were one of his closest friends. He said you inspired him and pushed him in ways others didn’t. That even if he was fresh out of ideas you always threw something out there even if it was just to get his brain flowing.” Peter quickly brushed his cheeks trying to conceal the water trailing down his face.

A shaky breath left you and you shut your eyes tight trying also stem the flow. “Thank you, Peter.” You whispered before clearing your throat. Tony hadn’t often verbally expressed your friendship, and sometimes you felt like it had been one-sided. Hearing this confirmation from his protégé was almost too much. You opened your eyes when you were sure that you had control again. 

“You better get back to your Aunt. I’ll see you around, kid.” You said in a stronger voice.

Peter nodded before following your instructions offering a small wave. 

You waved back, a small smile strewn halfheartedly across your face. You let out a sigh of relief as a familiar hand came to rest on your shoulder. You turned, and for the first time today, a real smile graced your face. “Hey, Steve.” 

“Hey, how you doing?” He inquired pulling you into him. Warmth encompassed you as you felt your love’s comfort and assurance. 

“Not terrible, all things considered.” You mumbled into his chest. 

He let go of you, taking a step back. His eyes searched yours as if looking for something, and you smiled at him, hoping he found whatever it was he was looking for. 

“Can we go inside for a second?”

Your furrowed your brow but nodded and followed as he made his way inside. 

“Pepper and Morgan are going with Happy for lunch.”

Your eyes narrowed in confusion before clarifying. “I love you, Steve, but I am not having sex with you in Tony’s cabin on the day of his funeral.”

He barked out a laugh before resting a hand on your cheek, the other finding its place on your waist. “No, no, um, that’s not what I was going for.” 

You waited a beat before bringing your hand up and running your thumb along his wrist. “What is it, baby?”

Steve cleared his throat releasing his hands from you and shoved them in his pockets. “I need to talk to you about the mission.”

“Oh. Did-did Tony not leave enough notes? He never did.” You remembered fondly. The man would start a thought in one notebook and then flip to another finishing the thought. 

Steve reached out and rubbed your arm. “No, no. Bruce has it covered as far as I know.”

You released the breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding. With something as complex as time travel there could be several items to piece together and the task was daunting at best, but you would do it. Even if it meant going through your mentor’s notes when you were still mourning you would do it because Steve needed it. 

“Then what is it?” You pushed.

Steve looked down and took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’m coming back.”

“Is there some kind of new threat? Do we need to draw up a new plan? I can give you some tech that was in-development that could help, although I would need to know what we were up against to ensure maximum efficiency. Then again, depending on the threat, something new may have to be developed altogether, but I’m sure I can come up with something. Oh, I know, I could always ask Peter. The kid has real potential, and I’m sure together we could-”

“Y/N,” Steve whispered cutting off your ramblings. You looked up at him, confusion taking over you. “There’s no threat.”

You took a step back, trying to suppress the emotions that were churning through you. “So, why aren’t you coming back?” You finally bit out.

“I’ve been thinking and examining my life. To be frank, I’m tired, Y/N, so tired. And I just want to get away.”

“And we can’t do that together?”

“If I stay here, you know that they will find me. And I can’t just ignore it if the team needs help. And there’s someone in my past that I’ve really been missing lately. I finally have a chance to see them again and I can’t just let that opportunity go.”

Your throat felt like it was going to close. “You’re going back to her, aren’t you?”

Steve nodded.

You closed your eyes, desperate not to cry again. Too many tears had been shed today. You held out an arm as you heard Steve step closer to you. “Don’t touch me.” Venom laced your words, your defenses going up in record time.

He whispered your name and reached for your hand in an attempt to calm you.

“Stop it!” You yelled ripping your hand away. You finally opened your eyes, but it wasn’t tears that were let out. Instead your eyes were filled with fury. “Stop putting up this front.”

Steve stopped in his tracks seemingly surprised by your outburst. “I’m not putting up a front.”

You scoffed. “You just told me that you’re leaving me, the girl who you said you loved, who you said you wanted to marry, for another woman! Now, you’re trying to act like I’m not supposed to be upset about that. And I am trying really hard to handle this like an adult, but I can’t do that when you still act as if how I feel matters to you.”

Steve stood up straight and in an authoritative tone stated, “Your feelings do matter.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “Oh, please. How long have you had this planned, Steve?”

Another scoff passed your lips when your query was met with silence. “That’s what I thought. **You don’t have to act like you care when you have one foot out the door.** Thank you for letting me know instead of just leaving. But I have to go now.” 

You made to go around Steve but he stepped in front of you blocking your path. “Please don’t leave.” He begged.

You looked up at him, your face scrunched up in defiance. In a scathing voice, you uttered, “Why should I stay, when you’ve already gone?”

“I do love you.” He pleaded. 

Your lips curled into a scowl. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t be leaving me for another woman. Now, get out of my way.” You were almost out the door when you heard a small sniffle. And the small pieces of your broken heart shattered when you kept walking.

You kept your head up as you passed everyone. You briefly registered that Sam and Bucky went into the cabin. Of course they were going to support Steve. They were his friends, not yours, just like the rest of the Avengers. You had lost the only two who were truly yours to begin with. There was nothing you could do to resurrect your mentor and your best friend, at least not yet. 

You got into your car and headed for the lab Tony had gifted you years ago. You had work to do, but first you needed supplies.

**Author's Note:**

> Man that was my first time writing angst that wasn't really resolved. Let me know what you thought!


End file.
